oh my god
FOR SQUARES ololol
But seriously, there's gonna be some NSFW probably.
because instead of teaching boys not to drug girls and rape girls we teach girls to always be on our edge and take all these precautions to ensure our own safety
because girls still get raped even if we did every single thing we were told
because “she was wearing a short skirt and tight crop top” is a good enough reason to rape a girl
because girls still get raped even when they’re wearing a burqa
because people will make up all kinds of excuses to blame the rape victim instead of the rapist
because women cannot speak out on being sexually abused by a man without facing harassment instead of sympathy
because girls can’t be out at night on their own without fearing for their lives
because a man’s biggest fear when interacting with a woman is being rejected whereas a woman’s biggest fear is being raped and/or murdered
because women cannot embrace their own sexuality without being called sluts and whores
because those photos of Nick Jonas half naked grabbing his junk were acceptable and sexy but Nicki Minaj posing in a bikini is inappropriate and slutty
because in England one incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute
because in South Africa one in four girls will be raped in their lifetime
because one average, 2 women a week are killed by a current or ex male partner
because women feel the need to apologise to men for not wanting to sit with them, talk to them, dance with them. they feel the need to apologise for saying “no”
because a “no” coming out of a woman’s mouth is taken as “try harder” by men
because “don’t be such a girl” is taken as an insult whereas “you’re the man” is taken as a compliment
because Ke$ha is constantly portrayed as a stupid slut just because she likes to sing about partying but never has anyone called a male artist stupid for singing about partying
because when Taylor Swift sings about wanting to get back together with her ex or missing her ex she is “crazy” and “obsessed” but when Robin Thicke released the song “Get Her Back” along with a video of a woman drowning, featuring real texts between him and his ex-wife, him pointing his fingers like a gun and raised to his head, and ending with a figure walking off into the distance with the words: “This is just the beginning”, all of which are disturbing and clearly manipulative and emotionally abusive actions but Robin Thicke, instead of being called a lunatic, is praised for being a “vulnerable” and “sensitive” man
because “boys will be boys” is a phrase constantly used invalidate girls speaking out on being harassed by boys
because men fetishising women of colour is supposed to be taken as a compliment
because men are more worried about “saving the tatas” instead of the lives of women fighting breast cancer
because malala yousafzai was shot in the head for trying to go to school
because men threatened to bomb a college because a woman tried to give a feminist presentation
because no matter how many reasons I give there will be men who will brush aside what I say and tell me I’m overreacting because I am a girl
do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared
All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.
The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.
And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)
At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.
This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.
This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.
And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."
And then there is this:
Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.
And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.
And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.
TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.
YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.
However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena.
See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena.
He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me.
So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does.
Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:
Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit.
The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.”
And it stayed.
Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.